My not so productive day.....

Ohhhhhhhh what a lazy day!! This Monday has got to be one of the laziest days I've had in quite some time! We got the day off from practice because of our "near" thirty point win on Sunday. We finally played like a team and played really well to finally break our losing streak. Needless to say, I was able to smile after the game and enjoy myself. I was somewhat satisfied with my performance too so that made things better. One of my teammates gave me some valuable advice which I hope to continue to use and that was to let the game come to me and not try and force things. When I try and force things is when things tend to not go my way. Ill put that theory to the test and get back to you on the results. One game is not enough to judge that.

The Americans had game night over my place which turned out to be pretty fun. I think my competitive side kicked in too much at certain times but I don't really care because that's just the way I am. There were a few arguments here and there and as usual people could not understand my side of the story but that's OK. I hate losing, no matter what we are playing. If we are playing flip the coin, however you play that, I still don't want to lose! There is something about me that wants to be the best at whatever I do.

Back to my lazy day though......I woke up today with every intention on going to the weight room and maybe doing a couple of other things. Well, I didn't even leave the house today! I got no idea what it felt like outside! I know it sounds bad and I do feel guilty which is why tomorrow I have to make up for it at shoot around and in the weight room. I had a bit of a headache and fell asleep later on in the day. I had planned on going to wing night but just didn't feel like making that drive so stayed at home. I did make some cookies though and I must say they were really tasty! Even more of a reason I have to hit the weight room tomorrow! I can't sit at home all day and do nothing but eat cookies and surf the net and still be able to look at myself in the mirror so I have to have redemption tomorrow.

These weeks are starting to pass by really fast lately. I'm not sure why but I guess it's not the worst thing in the world. I can think back to last year and remember at this very same time I was so home sick and ready to visit home for Christmas. This year I think that I've really gotten comfortable and have no desire to go home other then to see my family. I think with the friends that I've accrued while I've been here it's really made things much more fun and enjoyable. I've also learned that when I go home that the world doesn't stop just because I'm back home and that people still have their busy lives. I may hang with certain people a couple of times but soon enough they've got to get back to work or whatever it is that they do. In other words, being over here for my second year I really don't have a circle of friends that I run with back home and my siblings and close family cousins all are scattered in different states. That's more of a problem during the summer considering during Christmas break many of them are back home for the holidays and are off work so it's a little different. Speaking of holidays, Thanksgiving is coming up!! I haven't been able to experience Thanksgiving like the old days in a while since when I was In college I was pretty much always gone for a tournament during Thanksgiving and was not able to celebrate with all my family. I still won't be able to this year but I guess I have my friends to celebrate with here. I have like 3 or 4 different Thanksgiving dinners this year so it might be a little rough for me with all that food! All the Americans are getting together to do our own dinner then a family from church has invited me to their chateau in France Thanksgiving weekend and then my close friends who many are Americans are having another Thanksgiving dinner a week afterwards! Guess I will have to do a lot of cardio those two weeks or I might gain a good 10 pounds! Whatever the case it's good to have options and have friends to celebrate with. Last year I was still new and had not met many Americans so Thanksgiving was not all that great. The American Bball players got together at my house which was cool but it was kind of a last minute thing.

Well it's time for me to get to bed now. Not really sure why I write all my posts late at night but maybe that's when my creative juices are flowing who knows. At any rate I'm trying to update my little blog more often so you readers out there, when I don't post for a little over a week don't lose faith in me! I'm working on things and am trying to update more often. Until next time folks...........................MK

Do I belong here?

Well here I am, 3 losses in a row and as usual I'm pretty down on myself. Our last game was against Sparta, the team who won it all last year, and we ended up losing by six. Playing professional basketball is a dream come true but trust me it's not all glam and glitz. In the Grand Scheme of things of life, my problems are miniscule, but in my reality they are a big deal.

I am naturally hard on myself in whatever I do. I guess that can be a good thing but at the same time it can be a bad thing. When I don't perform well or not as well as I would have liked I can almost go into a depression period. Out of all the awards I recieved playing basketball over the years, the honors and the respect I've earned, many times I still feel inadequate. I ask myself, "Should I even still be playing?" At those times, I just want to be alone and don't want the company of anyone. Whenever my team loses a game, whether I played well or not, I always feel like I could have done more to change the outcome. It's a bad mentality to have but somehow, somewhere I picked it up.

I miss the good old days when I played with my brother in highschool and college and I would get in these moods where I felt like I could not perform well and he would always tell me, " They can't stop you!! Keep going hard!" Or he would just say something to anger me a bit because once I got a little angrier, I got more powerful. I've never really been much of a self-motivator when it comes to things of that nature which is definitely not good. It always takes someone to push my buttons to get me going. Even when I didn't have my brother there, I had close teammates who knew me well and would take the place of my brother. I guess it's a good thing that maybe I have to depend more on myself to motivate me because in the future there is only going to be me. I know what I can do and I know I can do it but there is so much more that is involved in performing well. I've always said it and I will continue to say it whether people agree with me or not. I've never considered myself to be all that talented in basketball but more of a hard-working guy who has a die hard competitve nature and hates to lose at anything. With those qualities and some sort of athletic ability I've been able to be successful in basketball. I honestly believe that If I had played football or any other sport I would have been just as good but I could be wrong. I guess it's time to end this pity party of mine and get back to playing the way I used to......with heart and with passion. The only problem with that is my body takes a serious toll but in the end I guess a few aches and pain will be better then the pain of defeat and disgrace. Until next time.....................MK